sincere thoughts
So tonight I went to buy toilet paper. It's an important thing in a house of two females. Walgreens had a nice crowd of people; someone in every aisle. I grabbed two large toilet paper packages because that's just the way I roll...
As I made my way back to the front to check out, I passed a woman who was wearing a hat, and obviously suffering with cancer. When I reached the cashier, I put my things on the counter. The lady in the hat walked up behind me. As the cashier scanned my items she said I think there is a coupon for this (pointing to the toilet paper). This led her to searching through a coupon booklet, then ultimately walking down to the toilet paper isle to check for herself. It was then that I turned around and apologized to the lady in the hat (who was, of course, just holding one item to pay for). I know how frustrating it is when you want to check out quickly and the person in front of you is taking their own sweet time messing with coupons. She smiled and said, “That’s okay.” Then she said, “I know you. You are Kate.” I was slightly surprised since I am a local performer and every once and a while someone recognizes me and tells me they saw me singing at some event. But then she said, “I'm Sheri; I used to work with you.” As soon as she said it, a foggy memory of a lady who worked in HR with me a couple years ago popped in my mind. She was only there a few months, then left because she was diagnosed with cancer. Over the years I remember seeing her name on the American Cancer Society's volunteer list for the Relay for Life, but tonight she looked different. Once a healthy face and long hair was now replaced with a greyish face and no hair. Her voice was huskier sounding than I had remembered but her manner the same: Kind. She quietly said, “It came back. It was gone, and then it came back. I am doing chemo now. I just finished my fourth round. I have 2-6 more to go, depending on the success of it.” I hugged her, and listened as my compassion welled up inside of me. She didn't feel sorry for herself. She simply talked about her health and left it at that. I listened to her even while the cashier came back, and she began to scan Sheri's things. I looked into her brave eyes and told her to take care, and I walked through the doors. As I drove home in the silence of the car, my mind was flooded with many thoughts. Here I was just out buying toilet paper and God decided to speak to me. It's been months. My heart has grown so hard. My expectations of life have dwindled to nothing. And depression has strangled me for over a year now. But it truly is amazing that in one moment He can speak and say so many things at once, that it all makes sense. Speaking truth about His care, His presence, and His goodness; He offered peace and hope in the midst of suffering. He showed me how a suffering servant can fight through the darkest of times, and prevail with hope for each new day. God showed up and I became aware of the truth that has so eluded me...and it all started with toilet paper. ~ Written May 1, 2014 ~ *Posted as a Memorial for Sheri, R.I.P. 6/23/15*
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